baddytwoshoes

Just breathing to find out about me.

Homepage: https://baddytwoshoes.wordpress.com

Gone Girl

Though it has been 5 years since the book was published, I read the book “Gone Girl” recently. I haven’t watched the movie and wasn’t given any spoiler alert, so my book read was just as good as it would have been in 2012.

The story is about Amy and Nick and about their lives together.

During the first half of the book, the protagonist, Amy falls in love with Nick. They get married and live happily until life gets in their way. Amy loses her inheritance, Nick loses his job. They move back to Nick’s hometown to aid to his ailing mother. These turn of events have a huge impact on their happy marriage and the second half of the story unravels it.

The second half of the book is the essence and I don’t want to be a spoiler alert for those of you who haven’t read it yet.

Amy and Nick had very different upbringing. Amy was conceived with perfection. Nick had a lax attitude for life. Their basic characteristics clashed when the depth of the marriage tested them. Amy is cunningly clever and is always a step ahead of nick. By the time you finish the book, you will hate Amy. Still, we will respect her for her mastermind ploy.

The narration was simple yet had me look forward to every chapter. From the slow reveal of the suspense to the reasoning behind Amy’s move, the way author navigates to the end was applaudable.

This has been one of the good books I have ever read and would recommend it if you are looking for a well-written mystery with great characterization. Every new twist surpass the old one and the climax is the beauty checkmate.

Happy reading 🙂

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Is the paradise becoming the paradox?

I wanted to buy a new phone. I was clear with the budget and asked a trusted source for a recommendation. I was pretty happy with the recommended phone and decided to buy it without looking for any other options.

In the flash sale world, you are no longer the sole deciding authority on when you want to buy a phone. So I had to wait until the sale date was announced.

On the day of the flash sale I felt like a kid who was appearing for an exam. The sale began at 12 noon. I tried and failed to order the phone during the sale window which lasted for about 45 minutes. My excitement to own a new phone was crushed at that moment. I wish I had better prepared.

I decided to equip myself better for the next sale using this experience by researching the various options in the market. The preparation deviated to virtual window shopping. There were phones of all sizes, specifications and colors. The wave of choice hit me, flooded me, drowned me. I spent hours researching on all of those phone’s specifications, watched videos on their unboxing, analyzed their pros and cons.

It was overwhelming. I spend many anxious hours comparing my phone and felt paranoid that I was missing out on so many things which my phone doesn’t offer.

That’s when it hit me that we have choices in abundance. From the mundane day to day decisions to critical decisions, we have so much out there to choice from. These choices should make us feel empowered. But they sometimes leave us exhausted, less satisfied, unnerved, clueless and confused. The abundance of choice pressurize us to analyse and settle for the best. When we do settle for the best, it doesn’t make us feel so.

As the tamil saying goes “Alavukku Minjinal Amirthamum Nanju”.

The paradise becomes the paradox when choices are overwhelming.

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Surface to Inside – Kate

Though story is titled Kate Met William, there is more to it than just meeting William.

Kate about herself.

Hi, I am Kate.

I am a happy go lucky girl on the surface. But that’s just the surface. Inside, I am a sad story looper and often imagine the worst things that can happen.  Not just that, I suck the joy out of me in no time. I do it free off cost without a reason.

With this case if I go to a psychiatrist they may torture to revisit my childhood to understand the roots of where all this came from. But chuck it. I am my own shrink and won’t let anyone ruin my sadness.

My life apart from meeting William has a lot of emotional stories. So I am going to pause the romance for a while and let you all know some of it.

I am not a movie freak. But sometimes watching a movie can change my mood drastically. It was one of these mornings when I wake up and know it’s not going to be a happy one. I sat down to watch a movie. Perks of being a wallflower. I have read the book months ago. But I never knew there is a movie based on this book. While reading the book, I was able to empathize with charlie(protagonist of the story). I used to be him when I was small. Hated going to school till 5th grade. I literally had nothing to look forward to most of the year. I was the underdog, the wallflower girl at school, the least popular kid among the relatives, the daughter who wasn’t pampered because of various reasons. These feelings put together summed up my childhood memories. I did have some happy one’s but all shadowed by the above not-so-happy one’s.

All these could have resulted in me growing up to be a lousy adult. But I did pass through the sad tunnel.

The movie got over but it brought back some of my not so pleasant memories. The sad memories are going to lingering forever because they were once moments in my life. So i am going to let them be.

——————————–To Be Continued—————————–

 

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Lean in Fems

If you are familiar with Facebook, you should know it’s COO Sheryl Sandberg. I am a huge admirer of her movement lean in . Her conversation about leaning in urged me to write this blog post and share my experience.

I have been in the workforce for more than 2 years and I haven’t faced a situation where i wish i were a guy. But there have been instances where the guys have an advantage. I happen to know a male colleague who was sent onshore early in his career and a female colleague who had to struggle for the same spot.

If you have worked for an IT company you will know GCP/Onshore role is something which is not given away so easily(most of the time).

Both of them were of the same career level and had the same skill set. It happened naturally for him whereas for her with a lot of effort. You want to know why?, I definitely wanted to. So I asked him, “How? Did you do something different than others?”.  His answer, “One day during a casual conversation in the Men’s washroom while we were doing our thing I told the boss I would love to go onshore and he considered it a year later when the opportunity opened up “.

It got me thinking. Was the restricted access to the Men’s washroom the deal breaker for her? Turns out it was. For her it was walking up to the corner office to let the boss know about her career choice and it isn’t as easy as catching up in the washroom.

From this, two things are very clear.

  • Women don’t express their career demands/choices/expectations very often.
  • There are not enough women in the top, so that girls can also have such washroom conversations .

Even the household environment isn’t very encouraging for working women. A married female colleague told me her husband was unhappy that she is a working woman. I was shocked, “Isn’t it good for him? You share the expense of running a family and reduce his financial burden”. She sighed, “At the end of the day, I am not at home when he returns from office. He has to make his own coffee, whereas his brother gets hot bajji’s along with the coffee from his wife(who happens to be a full time home maker). It upsets him”.

It wasn’t his fault for wanting hot bajji’s or her fault for wanting the financial independence. But it’s the flaw in the society’s set up (for not having a bajji stall near their place 😉 ).

All these needs change and will need to happen much quicker.

Women earn less than men at all educational levels and the gender pay gap widens for persons with advanced degrees

We need more women in the top. We need more women across all industries. The numbers should increase vertically and horizontally to end the equal pay myth.

Let’s make the world better and let women lead as much as the men do and pay them equally well.

Personally, I will continue to be in the workforce, voice my career choices and will choose a partner who is a real partner. I wish all the women are given the choice to do what they want in life.

Disclaimer: I solely voiced my opinion and by no means intended to hurt/misuse/disgrace anyone’s opinion or choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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As a gautham vasudev menon’s heroine in a Maniratnam movie

On Pongal eve, Yennai arindhal was aired on the television set. They had skipped the “Mazhai vara pogudhei” song and i was very disappointed because that’s the magic of the movie. That’s when i was wondering how does gautham’s heroines look so magically angelic in his movies. Coincidentally my sister told me about gautham menon’s interview with khusbhu. I immediately started watching that interview. I was always intrigued about the thought process he goes through for his film, especially his heroine’s characterization.

During the interview he explained about his lady love’s and the romances in his life, about the way his dad loved his mother. His definition of love and his perspective of love at first sight.

We don’t like his heroine’s for their looks but more for their character and the way she carries herself.

It’s not just his heroine’s, the houses and places he presents in his movies. They are all very simple yet soo  very elegant and O.M.G.

It’s one of my dreams to be a gautham vasudev menon’s heroine in a maniratnam’s movie in real life 🙂

Simple and real yet so elegant and classy. Mother a kid to follow their dream and inspire them to love with all their heart.

It is one of my bucket list item to act as a heroine in a gautham menon’s movie and to be a assistant in a maniratnam’s movie. Though it can never be a reality, a girl can always dream 😉

Note: To the one person who has started reading my blog post regularly off late, You have been incredibly sweet and nice to me. You are a person who treasure’s a girl gautham’s way in your own style. Your girl is really lucky(saying this for the nth time).

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Clueless 20’s

Being in the 20’s is like getting stranded in the middle of the ocean. I am not sure which half of the journey would be interesting, the one already gone by or the one which i am about to sail across.

Just after 3 days of final engineering exams, i got posted in Bangalore.
Popular IT firm, Decent pay check, New city. Exciting combo for an okayishly reputed college graduate like me.
I shopped limitless on my first month salary and went to Hindi cinema with training colleagues and roamed the streets at midnight(This one liner has two things ticked from my bucket list).

Though it was thrilling, i had to experience a lot of stuff being away from home during that time.
From picking a 2 sharing or 3 sharing room for my stay to doing my clothes, feeding myself, having to deal with my sickness, depression. Everything was on me to decide. I started to hate my life and desperately wanted to go back home. HR was my new god. I visited him quite frequently and told him Chennai was my preferred work location post the training.
Things went on and the training ended. Eventually i started getting used to the new surrounding, made some new friends and tried to make myself at home in Bangalore.
That’s when my HR decided to get me back to my comfort zone and posted me back to Chennai. My parents were happy, i was happy and all my lucky gods were thanked.

Strangely I needed time to get used to the city i lived in for 20 years of my life. New people, new rules and i felt like i am starting over again.

Now i am part of the team which supports the operations of a telecom company based on Australia.

It has been 2.5 years.

I have been receiving wedding and baby shower invite’s on my name for a while now. I have send off many people abroad for studies/work.
Half the people i know have quit their jobs and started post graduation. The other half are married and started having kids. Few of them have chosen their path purposefully while the others went with the flow.
That’s the change around me.

Now if i have to traces the dots in my life so far, it has been a child’s scribble. The picture doesn’t make sense. Still remains clueless. Right now i am going through some special hardship training by nature to figure what my picture will look like in the end.

If you have read this post so far, i would like know about your 20’s story and how it is/went by.

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The First meet

Commentering for the match was all together a different experience for her but now she was supposed to interview the Star of the Match. Kate was anxious as this was all too sudden. She was excited, honored, frightened, paranoid all at the same time. Her brain froze and she stood still for a while below the commentary box trying to digest the whole situation.

She was staring at the moving crowd who were vacating the stadium after the match. The trash cans were getting disposed of their waste and the baseball court was getting prep’d for the tomorrow’s match.

She was mentally trying to work out a plan on how to get past the whole thing. She racked her bag for a piece of paper and wrote down a couple of questions. She read them out loud, took a deep breath and went into the interview room. She positioned herself facing the camera and mentally imagined the interview happen. Little did Kate know that all the pre-preparations which she did were to go in vain. By the time William came in, Kate was nervously sweating  because of the pressure she put herself in. She did not even see him come by.

On the other hand, William noticed Kate as soon as he walked in. He was curious about the new face sitting across the hall and was later informed that she will be interviewing him for today. He glanced at her worried sweaty face while getting his mike attached to his shirt. He smiled to himself on seeing her so agitated for interviewing him and went into the hall with the glass of water.

He introduced himself to her and offered her the glass of water. “No, Thank you” is all she said. William placed the glass of water in the table and sat across her starting to feel little uncomfortably himself now. He thought of making small conversation to ease the situation before camera started rolling but decided against it.

Kate met William for the very first time in person up close. His handsome face and athletic body engulfed her. Crush at first site. She had one of those moment today after seeing Willaim. His presence did something to her which she has never felt before. She cursed herself for not having the water which he offered. She forgot the rehearsed question but now all she cared was to make an excuse to drink the glass of water which he had gotten for her.

She smiled sheepishly and said “Hi William, This is.. hmm.. you know what can i have the glass of water”.  William passed the glass of water smiling . “Here you go Kate. I hope this calms you down. I am not here to eat you alive and you know that right?” and chuckled gently.

“HE KNOWS MY NAME”, Kate mind voice echoed when the camera started rolling..

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